


Someone You Loved

by TragicianJai



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Drug Addiction, Klaus is broken, M/M, Songfic, lewis capaldi - Freeform, someone you loved, the real reason Klaus is an addict, when ben died
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-06 14:19:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17941310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TragicianJai/pseuds/TragicianJai
Summary: Someone You Loved - Lewis CapaldiWhen Ben died.(Not whole song, only half)Songfic.





	Someone You Loved

I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me

 

Klaus felt his whole world collapsing in front of him. Ben had been brought back from the mission, he was... dead. His Ben was dead. Fucking dead.

Klaus could barely hear himself think, his mind was screaming at him, his heart was broken. His hands were shaking as everyone stood in shock. None of them had expected that they could die- especially Ben. He was always one of the strong ones. 

Klaus felt so alone.

 

This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy

 

Klaus had to leave, he could barely feel his legs as he ran out of the house, ignoring the shouts of his name and number. He couldn't stay in the house, they had let Ben die.. his love.

 

I need somebody to heal

 

Klaus was high as a kite before he knew it. This was what had started his drug addiction. Not the ghosts. Losing Ben left him feeling more alone than he had ever felt. The ghosts didn't bother him as much as they usually did. He couldn't focus on them, he was so broken. 

 

Somebody to know

 

Ben had been his best friend, more than best friend. They had slept in the same bed together whenever Klaus had been scared of the dark, of the ghosts. Ben had always been there, Ben had known him better than anyone else in that damn house.

 

Somebody to have

 

But Klaus couldn't have Ben there to help him anymore, he was left alone. He didn't know if he would be able to ever see Ben again, what with his powers. Though he wasn't sure he'd be able to handle seeing Ben dead, as a ghost. 

 

Somebody to hold

 

He wouldn't be able to touch him if he appeared, he would never be able to kiss him again. Never be able to cuddle with him, never be able to hug him.

 

It's easy to say

 

Klaus didn't want to hear his siblings telling him that he could just conjure up Ben. He didn't know if he could do that. If he could handle it.

 

But it's never the same

 

It would never be the same again. Klaus knew that, he knew his life was over now. Ben had always made him feel so safe. So loved. 

 

I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain

 

Ben had been his drug, he'd made him so warm inside. The secret kisses when no one was looking, the cuddling. They'd never had sex yet, though Klaus wishes they had now. Because now he would never, ever get the chance.

 

Now the day bleeds

 

The day was quickly turning into night. Klaus was terrified of the dark.

 

Into nightfall

 

Klaus had returned to the house, but he didn't go to his own room. He shut himself in Ben's room- he refused to talk to anyone. He was too fucked out of his mind and hurt. 

 

And you're not here

 

"Why'd you have to leave, Ben." Klaus sobbed, holding onto Ben's pillow and soaking in the scent of Ben. Ben who he'd never have again.

 

To get me through it all

 

Without Ben, Klaus saw no point. He didn't have his brother to help him control his abilities. The ghosts would be too loud, but the drugs drowned them out. It let Klaus relax, but relaxing only allowed his mind time to think about Ben. 

 

I let my guard down

 

He wished he had never fallen for Ben. He'd loved him so hard, and Ben had returned the love. Klaus never had to pretend around Ben, he could be his true self and not feel judged at all. Ben was the sweetest boy.

 

And then you pulled the rug

 

But, Ben was gone. Klaus couldn't get the image out of his head, of Ben.. his body covered in bullet holes, blood dripping from every place.

 

I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

 

Klaus just wished he could have one more night with Ben, he didn't feel like any other person would understand him. Ben had understood him, his personality and quirks. He had adored every single thing about Klaus. 

 

I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to turn to

 

Klaus months later was badly addicted to the drugs. They tried to stop him, tried to get him to come off the drugs. But they were the only thing that numbed the pain of being without Ben. They seemed to fill the empty hole he could feel in his chest.

 

This all or nothing way of loving got me sleeping without you

 

Klaus didn't sleep much at night either, it was never sleep. He always passed out and had fits of nightmares. Ghosts attacking him, or imagining the horrible way Ben had died. Without him. He still tried to sleep in Ben's room though, but it had lost his scent. Ben had all but disappeared from Klaus's life and everyone else pretended like he had never existed.

 

Now, I need somebody to know

 

Klaus tried to find someone else to love, to give his everything to. He couldn't bare this emptiness he felt every day. But no one wanted a good for nothing junkie.

 

Somebody to heal

 

Klaus had resigned himself to being alone forever. He couldn't give his heart out to anyone else, Ben was his soulmate. That's what he believed, he wished his power would allow him to bring back the dead. So that ben could stay with him. 

 

Somebody to have

 

Klaus had no one. His siblings didn't give him the time of day, he was an outsider in his own house. He just couldn't bring himself to leave, because Ben's room was the last thing that Klaus linked to him. The only tangible thing left of his brother.

 

Just to know how it feels

 

Klaus wished he knew how it felt to be loved, he used to. But he had forgotten, so long without his Ben had left him a shell of a person. His heart was surely black. 

 

It's easy to say but it's never the same

 

It was never going to be the same again. Not unless Ben came back to him, alive. That wouldn't happen of course. Klaus wished maybe Ben would appear to him, hopefully he wouldn't still have the bullet holes all through his chest. Drenched in blood. 

 

I guess I kinda liked the way you helped me escape

 

Klaus was alone. Ben gone, his siblings hated him. He had no escape anymore, not a human one. 

"I love you, Ben." Klaus whispered to himself, tears streaming down his face as he knocked back too many pills. He wanted to join Ben, find him in the afterlife. He was sick of being here alone.

**Author's Note:**

> I thought this song was very fitting for Klaus's reaction when Ben died.
> 
> Let me know if you liked it


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